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Don't get attached
It all seems good at first
But never seems to last
One day they'll decide you're not good enough
And cut you out of their life
Then you feel like you did something wrong
And cut yourself with a knife
After a while, you get tired of being abandoned
Being thrown away like you're nothing
So affected by your past
You resort to cutting
You bring your inner pain out
You want to scream and shout
Until you have nothing left to say
Looking forward to the end of today
But not the start of tomorrow
The monster in the mirrorI look in the mirror and all I see
Is that freaky little monster staring back at me
She does so much damage but means no harm
Her parents she does not want to alarm
So she keeps her feelings bottled up inside
Paints on a smile and acts like everything is fine
Puts on long sleeves and pretends the scars aren't there
It's not like anyone would even care
She waits until nighttime to sit and cry
Thinks about how much she wants to die
When everyone's asleep, she lies awake
Thinking of how many pills she'd have to take
Or how deep the wound would have to be
So people would finally hear her plea
Her need to see blood pour from her wris
Can I?Can I cut now?
See you've made me sad
I want to cut my heart out
Would that make you think me bad?
Can I have that blade?
It looks so fine and sharp
With it my scars are made
For its perfect for tearing my arm apart.
Can I bleed now?
Just a little blood
I'm not sure how
But I will get some blood
Can you leave me alone to cry?
I just want a shoulder to cry on
I'll say I'm fine when you pass by
Yet my tears fall with the setting of the sun
Can you give me a hug?
And say I'm not ok
Even if I say you're an annoying bug
Please don't ever go away
EmptyEverything is so wrong
I just wish I could fix it
Been broken for so long
I'm in little pieces
It hurts to wake up
It hurts to want to die
Going to bed thinking of
How you're going to survive
Another day, another year
Another cut, another tear
More heartache, more pain
A black cloud pouring acid rain
Filling my thoughts, my head
Melting what's inside
Until there's nothing left
No one's listening. . .With every breath I take
I feel as if there's someone hammering at my head
And clawing at my heart
With every move I make
Something is tearing me apart
Making me grow weak
With every word I speak
Someone else gets hurt
And I'm ignored once more
So tell me...
What's the point of me screaming
If there's no one to listen?
Another year lostAnother year passes,
Another day fades away,
Another chance lost,
As my body starts to decay.
Another heart to be broken,
Another tear to be cried,
Another friendship to end,
As my life is swept aside.
Another mistake to be made,
Another lie to be told,
Another bond to be broken,
As I begin to fold.
I remember this day,
As a symbol of my life,
Another broken man,
Who has no strengh left to fight.
My SmileThe rain falls outside,
While tears fall inside.
You see me smile for the
But only because you don't
Know the real me.
So next time you say,
"You have a beautiful
Just remember, I'm hiding
Dark secrets and pain
On the inside and scars on
Just thought I should let
You know before you call me
"The Freak Show!"
Mixed EmotionsShe lays her head down and tries to push away the pain. She closes her eyes to try to shut out the world as liquid sorrow rolls down her cheeks. "Why?" Her shattered voice says. Why was she left alone, ignored, left behind. There's a knock on her bedroom door. "Just ignore it" she says to herself, "they'll just call me a cry baby". After a few more minutes they leave. "Guess they really don't care." Then more tears come. "A nobody, that's all I'll ever be", she thinks to herself. Silent sobs can be heard coming from room if you listen close enough. Another knock. She hears the door open and someone slip into the room and reclose the door. "He
psycho bitchI'm the one who's gonna take a fork
scoop out your eye
eat it like a spider with a fly.
Because you took out ma heart
stamped on it
like it meant nothing...
You LEFT with my love..
how am I supposed to give you more?
don't corner me
you can't catch me.
you've cast a web that's too big to handle
you've taken a knife to my chest
I'll evade it.
I took a needle full of toxin's and stuck it in your throat
I kinda smiled while I watched you CHOKE.
You once treated my heart like a joke.
(well not anymore..)
you got what you deserved clean and fair
Have good luck finding heaven
Coz I'm not gonna take you there.
See you in hell
you fucking rotten piece of shit
you took my heart and fucking ate it
I ripped out your guts and fed them to the pond duck's
whilst singing lalalalala.
You may have turned me into a psychotic bitch
but you know what?
IT WAS WORTH IT
now your dead..
DEAD AND GONE!!!
you won't be coming back
and I won't mourn.
AliveI don't understand why people say Good Morning
What's so good about it?
You're waking up to another miserable day
Of your miserable life
Walking around half dead
Just wanting to curl up and die
I don't understand why people say Good Night
What's so good about it?
Going to bed with would haves and could haves
Regretting not cutting deep enough
When you should have
Crying yourself to sleep...
There's nothing good about mornings
There's nothing good about nights
Either way, I'm living but not really alive
Something I don't exactly want to do
Winter HeartFrozen solid, her heart will not beat,
Summer over, arctic winds won’t retreat,
All warmth and light has fled,
And you won’t last long there,
Her heart it’s a tundra in winter,
A winter heart, all dead.
The snow falling your love a breeze,
You won’t last long, you'll just freeze
Icicles from the past have froze her core,
Only warm hearts will change the season
Her heart it’s a tundra in winter
A winter heart, you've fallen for
The Last TimeI saw you the other day.
Only two months had passed since we'd broken up, but there you were with your big puppy-dog eyes and your irresistible silky hair. You hadn't changed one bit, except for the girl who hung on your arm. She was the first to notice me staring at you and possessively clutched you closer. In return, you noticed me and gave me that cocky grin I used to love. You strutted over and introduced me as your ex but told me she was your girlfriend.
I couldn't help but glance over her and notice how opposite she was from me. Her blonde hair and blue eyes with her pale skin were as different as night and day from my black hair and
ListenCan you hear me
Listen to my cries
Feel my pain
See your neglect
Understand what you've put me through
Hear me roar
My anger bouncing off the wall
My sadness ringing in
Your deaf ears
Can't you hear me
Do you just not care
Listen to me
Don't walk away
I'm not finished
If only you'd hear me
If only I could make you see
Why won't you listen
Why don't you care
Do you not see the tears
You're the one that's made to care
It's your job
Why can't you just listen
Maybe you can't hear me
I'm just not loud enough
HateYou hated me so much that now I hate me too.
You succeeded are you fucking happy? There's nothing left of me to love or save yet your son is still trying, still standing there. We can't see each other but he's the only thing keeping me alive and you don't care.
I want to go to somebody anybody and tell them how much I hurt and cry and cut and how it gets me nowhere. I want this to be better. I want you to stop hating me, judging me and lying.
"I'm not trying to sabotage your relationship"
You won't let him see me other than school, let him out of the house except for work and school and you may as well take his phone away too.
Weird, fat, and depressed
Obviously, not like other chicks
I understand that
But why do you have to
Point it out every
Fucking chance you get?
There has to be
Something even remotely
WeaknessEmptiness fills me
Runs through my veins
Makes them run cold
I want to scream
But my screams turn into sobs
I want to shoot daggers into your back with my eyes
But those daggers turn into tears
Weak, pittyful tears
I make myself sick
Is a sign of weakness
If you're weak, you get taken advantage of
And I don't want that to happen to me
Although I think it's already too late...
Not Strong EnoughMy other arm
A clean canvas
Waiting to be turned into art
With red liquid
Slashed and gashed on it
The razor is my brush
How it can leave it's mark on the canvas
Without having ink or paint
The clean canvas
It wants to be drawn on
The need grows stronger
Although I opposed myself to it
I'm not strong enough...
CliffClose your eyes
Count to three
Jump the cliff and you'll be free
You're not good enough
For them or for yourself
They won't miss you
They won't even cry
That's what it's like
When someone like you dies
You wanted attention
Or so they thought
You hid in long sleeves
And fake smiles
Blood made it better
For a little while
Then even that wasn't a relief
So you needed something more
You went up the hill
Looked over the cliff
Thought of all the people
That said life was a gift
But it was all a lie
You jumped over and said goodbye
Every Angel Deserves a Child"I can't feel the unfurling of my wings, Daddy."
I was not her father. I had entered her life when she was two years old, and she called me Daddy since she never knew her real father. Her mother's death two years ago made me the sole, living parent of an eleven-year-old, and I never felt like I was the right person for the job.
"What do you mean, Asrin?"
"Mom always said that when puberty started I would be the swan that emerged from the ugly duckling. She said I would be able to fly gracefully towards my dreams. But, I don't feel it."
As much of a woman as she was becoming, she was still a child. I wanted to answer her question, but I really had a hard time discussing her blossoming womanhood in the middle of a laundromat. Her pretty eyes were pleading with me, but I told her we'd talk later.
Janet had told Asrin a lot of things before she succumbed to the cancer. The last week or so of Janet's life were morphine-induced fantasy, I think.
Janet and I had met during c
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More