Nightmare I can't breatheI can't moveAll I can do is watchAs I loseLose this battleBreak the promisesReach for the knifeAnd end my tormentI stopLook at the knife pressed on my wristIs this the right thing to do?My head soon filled with memoriesThe hurtful words, the evil laughsThe imprisoning actsCondemning me to silenceOr else the pain will lastHaving remembered all thisI have made my decisionI drag the knife down my wristMaking a big incisionThe room spinsI feel myself fallBut I don't feel painI'm gone I wake upBreaking into a cold sweatChecking my armThank god it was allJust a horrible nightmare
No one's listening. . .With every breath I takeI feel as if there's someone hammering at my headAnd clawing at my heartWith every move I makeSomething is tearing me apartMaking me grow weakWith every word I speakSomeone else gets hurtAnd I'm ignored once moreSo tell me...What's the point of me screamingIf there's no one to listen?
Untitled.I love himDoes he feel the same?The dark shadow has becomeWild and difficult to tameHe's the only thing normal in my lifeFar different from the blood and the knifeI have gone so long withoutBarely getting through this emotional droughtSo many secrets I have keptOverthinking and hoping to dieIn the morning start all the liesHow am I? FineWhat's wrong? NothingWhen in fact, I've never been fineI've always been hurtingIn the mirror I look in disgustLooking left and right, no one left to trustIn the mirrorI see the monsterStaring me downWhispering bitter, empty promisesTormenting meA permenant solutionTo a petty situationAnother red lineAnother scarChills run down my spineThe knife's not very farI have to resistI have to tryI can't break the promisesRight now... I can't die
UntitledI'm differentWeird, fat, and depressedObviously, not like other chicksI understand thatBut why do you have toPoint it out everyFucking chance you get?There has to beSomething even remotelyAcceptableAbout meRight?
WrongAm I wrongTo want to scream at youuntil my throat hurts?Am I wrongTo want to tie you to the doorSo you won't be able to leave me once again?Am I wrongTo want to believeThat I don't need you anymore,even though I know I do?AmI wrongTo want to just grab a knifeAnd end my life?Am I wrongTo want to hide my feelings from youBecause I know you wouldn't care anyways?Am I wrongTo want to hurt youEven though I know I would never dare?Is it wrongTo miss you the way I do?
The monster in the mirrorI look in the mirror and all I seeIs that freaky little monster staring back at meShe does so much damage but means no harmHer parents she does not want to alarmSo she keeps her feelings bottled up insidePaints on a smile and acts like everything is finePuts on long sleeves and pretends the scars aren't thereIt's not like anyone would even careShe waits until nighttime to sit and cryThinks about how much she wants to dieWhen everyone's asleep, she lies awakeThinking of how many pills she'd have to takeOr how deep the wound would have to beSo people would finally hear her pleaHer need to see blood pour from her wristThe pain that she had missedIt feels so good but it is so awfulThe damage done to me has been so brutalShe looks at herself and makes a face of disgustWonders if there's anyone else she can trustShe sheds her tears every dayWondering when the world won't look so grayShe doesn't hurt like she hurt beforeWith all the pain she's had to endureI think she'
RestlessI lie awakeMillions of things running through my mindHow to calm this heartacheHow my sanity is becoming harder to findHow to help himHow to keep him alive at least one more yearIt's my life for hisI'm willing to do it, I have no fearEveryone else is worried about meI'm the only one that's notSo why won't you just leave me be?This battle I have to fightIt can't on for too longI will not win in the endFor I am not strongI have been bentBut this time I fear I will be broken
LiesI've lied to myselfHow could I ever be happy?Nobody would ever let that happenMy sadness is their powerThey feed off my angerEven stronger every timeKnocking me down more easilyEVERY TIMEThe illusion of happinessWas nice while it lastedNow it's time to face realityAnd bring that fake smile out once moreHide the tears that well up in my eyesAnd hide the scars that reside on my arms
WeaknessEmptiness fills meRuns through my veinsMakes them run coldI want to screamBut my screams turn into sobsI want to shoot daggers into your back with my eyesBut those daggers turn into tearsWeak, pittyful tearsI make myself sickShedding tearsIs a sign of weaknessIf you're weak, you get taken advantage ofAnd I don't want that to happen to meAlthough I think it's already too late...
Not Strong EnoughMy other armA clean canvasWaiting to be turned into artWith red liquidSlashed and gashed on itThe razor is my brushIt's astonishingHow it can leave it's mark on the canvasWithout having ink or paintThe clean canvasIt wants to be drawn onThe need grows strongerAlthough I opposed myself to itI'm not strong enough...
I am NOT Crazy...I feel like I'm going crazyI'm alone every fucking day andThere's nothing I can do about itWhen I'm around peopleThey irritate the crap out of meWith their stupid questions"Are you okay?"When what they're really thinking is"Give me a reason to send you awayaway from everyoneto rot and not bother anyoneever again"But noThey never say thatInstead they drive me even more crazyI don't need this shitI don't want this lifeThey're rightI'm a useless waste of spaceI don't need you to tell meI already knowI knew before you didWhy do you think I have these SCARS?!THEY DID THIS TO YOU!No, That wasn't me speakingThat was the little voice in my headI'm the only one to blame NO! THEY MADE YOU CRAZY!THEY MADE YOU NOTICE MY PRESCENCE!THEY MADE YOU THIS WAY!But who is they?Wait, why am I responding to youYou're not real THOSE PEOPLE THAT LEAVE YOU ALONEALL THE TIME!It's not their faul
BrokenBroke my heartYou broke it in twoDo you realizeWhat you put me through?I'll never believe in love againI don't think we can ever be friendsI can't shake my feelings for youNo matter how much you put me throughI loved you so muchBut to no luckThis little game you like to playBreaking all these innocent heartsBut soon enough you will payOne day your heart will break in twoYou'll realize what Hell you put me throughAnd no longer am I going to waitFor now I am filled with such dreadful hateIt's eating me up, eating me aliveAnd no one can see I'm broken inside
Day for a DepressiveDragging along is a simple thing here there is no pleasure; no pain.Walking numb without a course &
Fake Smile's.A smile is a sign that someone is happy,no one ever thinks otherwise.Sometime's a frown forms on peoples lips,but when your hiding something.You smile to hide the frown,With out the smile your open to the world.All your pain and misery,And you dont want that.After time the smile is an enemy,And a war with yourself starts.A side of sadness and a side of happiness,Sadness is winning.Time has caused to many painfull memories,And the happy one's to fade.The clock is ticking,It's a bomb that could explode any minuet.Tick, tock, tick, tock,Something snaps within you.Your screaming and scratching yourself,Yelling at yourself in a mirror.The word's of which your parents used,Your using them now.The sadness has won and you smash the glass to pieces,Falling to the floor, blood all around you.You finally smile with happiness,realising this is the end.And your acctualy happy,The smile is not fake, but it's real.
Why do I cutWhy do I cut?Sometimes I don't know whyThere are so many reasons to cutAnd so many reasons not toIt began as a pleaA plea to those around meA plea for helpI didn't know what to do with myselfI needed helpAnd I didn't know how to help myselfSo I cutThen it was a punishmentI made myself suffer for being meI made myself hurt for being on the edge of societyI made myself bleed for my awkwardnessI was on the outside looking inJealous that life came so easily to othersSo I cutNext it was an art formI couldn't comprehend what was going onI didn't understand why I was dragged into darknessI couldn't explain my pain to myselfI didn't know why it was happeningI couldn't fathom the painI only began to recognize what it wasWhen my limbs were covered in bleeding cutsIt wouldn't make sense without visualizationSo I cutNow it is a comforterI am haunted every momentBy dark feelingsThat can't seem to be explainedEven when I am fineI can't help but look over my shoulder
DespairIt really gets you tiredWhen your silent painDoesn't come outEven the darkest flowers bloom... Don't they?See the world wither awayAs our blood covers the iceIt's taking our light awayOnce your eyes used to shineNow I see only darkness in themAnd now even the most bitter tearsCan't turn your head down anymoreIt's turning you coldOnce so beautiful voiceForever goneIt's whispers cannot reach usSee my sarcastic smileAs the blood flowsDown, down, down...I was never strong enoughTo pray for salvationIt died to my lips before I got it out" Save me, save me.. "You never heard my silent pleadsWhere are those wingsOnce so pure, white, innocentWings now rotten, dark, viciousAngel fell once againIt's coming to an end...I need to let it outLet the pain outOut of meOut of my heartMy dying heartPlease,Let me goPlease,Don't do this to mePlease,Release the despairPlease,Let me be freeEven one dayEven one nightPlease,Find my tearsPlease,Bring me backPleas
Sleepless NightsAs I layOn those sleepless nightsWatching the blood seepMy head isSwimming with wretched thoughtsDepriving me of sleep.I sometimes wonderWhat would happen ifI let the blade cut too deep.
Insanity.Running up and down the halls,Never looking back but never looking forward.Screaming, crawling, clawing,The worst case they have seen yet.The voices in my head,The writing on the wall.It's enough to make you scream,It's enough to make you weep.Crawling on the walls,Scribbling blood on the floor.Spelling out the voices in your head,Insane, you're all Insane.Come and join this fun filled house,We welcome you and your guests.The sane are not welcome,But the insane, well....you're already dead.
She's a DisasterWatch me laughandit's so fucked up becausenothing's funny.I walk aroundand I don't even know howbecause my bones are gone.I think I've been reducedto a pile on the floor.Look over that way,do you see mefolded up in the corner?laugh, laugh, laughReally, it's all just funnyeven though it isn't.I'm cracking up and melting downand freaking outand I'm laughing all the while.And then I'm crying.Look over that way,do you see me caving in?cry, cry, cryand I don't even know why.
I Thought You Were The One.You're the onewho's supposed to see the real me.see through the plaster smileand see the pool of pent up tearsand purple scars.But no...you can't see.You don't take enough timeto even try to see.I thought you were the onewho was finallygoing to break my chains,set me free.But no...no one will everbe able to seethe real me.
Day 2-Cold FrontI'm not a cold personI have feelingsI want to be popularI want to be wantedI may put on a brave faceI may seem abrasiveI may seem snottyBut I'm just waitingFor that one personWho's willing to break downMy wallsAnd see me as the personI am on the insideKindLovingConsiderateSadDepressedLonelyIt just takes one personTo make it all betterTo take away the painTo take me away from theReal worldTo a place for just theTwo of usFor a personTo kiss my scarsAnd see the beautifulMe that resides on the insideJust one person toTear down my barrier
She was a Beauty...She was a beauty with sorrow-filled eyes,A mask of hope was her only disguise. She was searching for something she had yet to find,Slowly but surely, she's losing her mind.She was a beauty with scars so condensed,While her sanity faded the pain would commence.She crawled across the floor in search of her dreams,Finding only nightmares filled with piercing silent screams.She was a beauty with a twisted mind,Thoughts dripping with venom filled her every sigh.Her arms are covered with words of hate,She feared her end, her despicable fate. She is a beauty with empty eyes,She wears no mask, she has nothing to hide.When she lost her mind she found the knife, Slowly but surely, she's losing her life.
Only One Friend.She has only one friend;everyone else leaves her cold and alone,withered and broken.She's okaywith having only one friend.One friendto tell all of her secrets to,to cry about hard times with,to give her a reality check,to talk about her parentsand her home life,to talk about the stressof the weight of the world.To tell everything to.To relieve everything.Only this one friendknows all about her.But who is her friend?Her razor blade.
Help Me..?I thought I hitRock bottomI thought I couldOnly go up nowI though it wasHard then . . .Letting go of the wallI fall fasterIt wasnt the bottomJust a shelfI cant see anymoreNothing but blackA bit farther everydayNot getting betterNot OKI hope for lightBut I learnThe black only gets darker
HurtingHurting on the insideWith everything to hideNot letting anyone inMy blood running thinBarely enough to keep me aliveBut enough to keep meHurting inside